If you buy a ticket to Rampage, the latest vehicle for global megastar Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's particular brand of adrenaline-fueled antics, you know exactly what you're getting into. Rest assured- the marketing department has not lied to you this time around. This adaptation of a classic arcade game is just as loud, silly, and headache-inducing as its trailers, focused solely on delivering non-stop spectacle and ridiculous monster smackdowns within a traditional action movie framework. Even with multiple franchises under his belt and a planned venture into the superhero genre, The Rock seems intent on using his status as Hollywood's most bankable leading man to produce the kind of old-school studio films that we see less and less these days. From the family adventure of Jumanji to the disaster mayhem of San Andreas, Johnson seems to have a penchant for retro blockbuster thrills.
The only question is if they'll be any fun or not. "Good" isn't exactly applicable in this case. The Rock's films are best graded in terms of their varied levels of entertainment value, ranging from the delightful magic of the aforementioned Jumanji to the ghastly stupidity of Baywatch. Coming from director Brad Peyton (San Andreas, an overly serious earthquake epic), Rampage always seemed destined to fall somewhere in the middle of Johnson's adrenaline-fueled filmography. And that's exactly what happens. It is not an overstatement to call it the dumbest film of the year- in fact, I'll be genuinely flabbergasted if another 2018 movie is as pervasively idiotic as this slice of pure cinematic carnage. But by leaning into the inherently stupid nature of its B-movie concept, this goofy, often bonkers thrill ride can actually be a shockingly good time. It's unabashedly silly, fast paced, and as blunt as a punch to the face- pretty much exactly what you want from a mid-level Rock outing.
I still can't believe it took four writers to craft the screenplay for this movie though. Seriously guys, this could not have been that hard.
Oh, you want me to summarize the story? I guess that's something I have to do. Okay, so Dwayne Johnson plays a primatologist named Davis Okoye. He likes gorillas and animals more than people because he's seen the cruelty of humanity or something to that extent. Anyways, his best friend is a white-haired ape named George (played in mo-cap by Jason Liles), who is extremely intelligent and friendly. He even knows how to flip Davis off! Everything is great in the San Diego animal preserve, but trouble is looming in the cosmos. A Big Evil Corporation, led by the manipulative Claire Wyden (Malin Akerman) and her dim-witted brother (Jake Lacy), have conducted a genetic experiment gone amok on a space station. In an attempt to save their research when the station is destroyed by a giant rat (not kidding), the escape pod explodes and inadvertently scatters their genetic editing devices across the globe.
Luckily for us, one of those little canisters lands directly in San Diego. George gets a whiff of the genetic editing gas, which is bad news for Davis and the friendly primate. It's also bad news for a wolf in the mountains of Wyoming and an alligator in the Florida Everglades- but we'll get to them later. After hearing that George has mauled a bear to death, Davis comes to the startling realization that George is much, much bigger than he was before. Once gentle and compassionate, George is now uncontrollably angry, unable to be sedated by even the most powerful of tranquilizers. Angry and confused, Davis eventually finds help in Dr. Kate Caldwell, who helped create these devices in the hopes that it could save her dying brother. But once she learned the Wydens' true intentions, Kate could no longer justify her work. But now, with the Wydens preparing to engineer a battle royale between a giant ape, a giant flying wolf, and a massive spiky alligator in the streets of Chicago, it's up to Davis, Kate, and government agent Harvey Russell (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) to......well, save the world.
In the past, I've talked about a particular kind of movie that you watch on HBO at 11:30 PM in a hotel room when you're half-awake. This needlessly specific description matches the stupidity of the movies that fall under this category- recent examples include King Arthur: Legend of the Sword and the aforementioned San Andreas. My dad and brother coined this sub-genre after enjoying the hell out of Wrath of the Titans for no particular reason, other than the fact that it just happened to be on TV at a given moment. With Rampage, the hugely enjoyable late night hotel movie has finally reached its peak form- I doubt any movie will be as stupidly entertaining at midnight as Dwayne Johnson's monster mash. A little self-awareness goes a long way, and The Rock and Peyton find a way to acknowledge the ludicrous nature of the plot without repeatedly winking at the audience.
This movie is basically just big-budget pulp, and it isn't particularly artful pulp at that. It's a big, lumbering beast of a movie, filled with one-note characters, needlessly frenetic pacing, and a bevy of chaotic action scenes. There are also some aspects of Rampage that you just flat-out won't believe. The two villains show up every few minutes to dump some exposition on the audience, and one of them is seen eating a Pop Tart in almost every scene. He's later killed by a falling piece of debris in what feels like a Looney Tunes-esque moment, highlighting the film's almost unbelievably cruel sense of humor. And while I mentioned George's capability to flip Davis off, it's also worth nothing that the giant gorilla apparently learned how to mimic sex with his hands too. Then there's Jeffrey Dean Morgan, playing a cross between Michael Shannon's cowboy cop in Nocturnal Animals and John Turturro's pea-brained special agent in Transformers. It's as weird as it sounds, but he undoubtedly captured my attention throughout.
But in a peculiar way, all of the things that make Rampage a hopelessly moronic movie are also a large part of why it's so watchable. It's not quite in "so-bad-it's-good" territory, but it's heading in that direction. While the briskness of the entire endeavor results in some truly mind-numbing mayhem, the pace of the action also translates to a mercifully short running time (107 minutes), which means Peyton and the team of four screenwriters (Ryan Engle, Carlton Cuse, Ryan J. Condal, and Adam Sztykiel) don't really have time to add any excess fat. Even if the characters fail to ever be compelling in any significant way, the filmmakers smartly avoid any futile attempts to develop them further, opting for some silly catchphrases and more monster action. It's totally empty spectacle, but its commitment to being an overblown B-movie is admirable.
You get what you came for. Dwayne Johnson acts cool and tough, the monsters hit each other and topple buildings, and Brad Peyton even delivers a few nicely choreographed setpieces. I laughed at the madness. I enjoyed the consistently campy vibe and the weird strain of violent humor. I cringed at the more egregious lines of dialogue. In the end, I was mostly entertained. It's a serviceable blockbuster, one that seems perfectly content with just getting the job done.
THE FINAL GRADE: B- (6.9/10)
Images courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures
The only question is if they'll be any fun or not. "Good" isn't exactly applicable in this case. The Rock's films are best graded in terms of their varied levels of entertainment value, ranging from the delightful magic of the aforementioned Jumanji to the ghastly stupidity of Baywatch. Coming from director Brad Peyton (San Andreas, an overly serious earthquake epic), Rampage always seemed destined to fall somewhere in the middle of Johnson's adrenaline-fueled filmography. And that's exactly what happens. It is not an overstatement to call it the dumbest film of the year- in fact, I'll be genuinely flabbergasted if another 2018 movie is as pervasively idiotic as this slice of pure cinematic carnage. But by leaning into the inherently stupid nature of its B-movie concept, this goofy, often bonkers thrill ride can actually be a shockingly good time. It's unabashedly silly, fast paced, and as blunt as a punch to the face- pretty much exactly what you want from a mid-level Rock outing.
I still can't believe it took four writers to craft the screenplay for this movie though. Seriously guys, this could not have been that hard.
Oh, you want me to summarize the story? I guess that's something I have to do. Okay, so Dwayne Johnson plays a primatologist named Davis Okoye. He likes gorillas and animals more than people because he's seen the cruelty of humanity or something to that extent. Anyways, his best friend is a white-haired ape named George (played in mo-cap by Jason Liles), who is extremely intelligent and friendly. He even knows how to flip Davis off! Everything is great in the San Diego animal preserve, but trouble is looming in the cosmos. A Big Evil Corporation, led by the manipulative Claire Wyden (Malin Akerman) and her dim-witted brother (Jake Lacy), have conducted a genetic experiment gone amok on a space station. In an attempt to save their research when the station is destroyed by a giant rat (not kidding), the escape pod explodes and inadvertently scatters their genetic editing devices across the globe.
Luckily for us, one of those little canisters lands directly in San Diego. George gets a whiff of the genetic editing gas, which is bad news for Davis and the friendly primate. It's also bad news for a wolf in the mountains of Wyoming and an alligator in the Florida Everglades- but we'll get to them later. After hearing that George has mauled a bear to death, Davis comes to the startling realization that George is much, much bigger than he was before. Once gentle and compassionate, George is now uncontrollably angry, unable to be sedated by even the most powerful of tranquilizers. Angry and confused, Davis eventually finds help in Dr. Kate Caldwell, who helped create these devices in the hopes that it could save her dying brother. But once she learned the Wydens' true intentions, Kate could no longer justify her work. But now, with the Wydens preparing to engineer a battle royale between a giant ape, a giant flying wolf, and a massive spiky alligator in the streets of Chicago, it's up to Davis, Kate, and government agent Harvey Russell (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) to......well, save the world.
In the past, I've talked about a particular kind of movie that you watch on HBO at 11:30 PM in a hotel room when you're half-awake. This needlessly specific description matches the stupidity of the movies that fall under this category- recent examples include King Arthur: Legend of the Sword and the aforementioned San Andreas. My dad and brother coined this sub-genre after enjoying the hell out of Wrath of the Titans for no particular reason, other than the fact that it just happened to be on TV at a given moment. With Rampage, the hugely enjoyable late night hotel movie has finally reached its peak form- I doubt any movie will be as stupidly entertaining at midnight as Dwayne Johnson's monster mash. A little self-awareness goes a long way, and The Rock and Peyton find a way to acknowledge the ludicrous nature of the plot without repeatedly winking at the audience.
This movie is basically just big-budget pulp, and it isn't particularly artful pulp at that. It's a big, lumbering beast of a movie, filled with one-note characters, needlessly frenetic pacing, and a bevy of chaotic action scenes. There are also some aspects of Rampage that you just flat-out won't believe. The two villains show up every few minutes to dump some exposition on the audience, and one of them is seen eating a Pop Tart in almost every scene. He's later killed by a falling piece of debris in what feels like a Looney Tunes-esque moment, highlighting the film's almost unbelievably cruel sense of humor. And while I mentioned George's capability to flip Davis off, it's also worth nothing that the giant gorilla apparently learned how to mimic sex with his hands too. Then there's Jeffrey Dean Morgan, playing a cross between Michael Shannon's cowboy cop in Nocturnal Animals and John Turturro's pea-brained special agent in Transformers. It's as weird as it sounds, but he undoubtedly captured my attention throughout.
But in a peculiar way, all of the things that make Rampage a hopelessly moronic movie are also a large part of why it's so watchable. It's not quite in "so-bad-it's-good" territory, but it's heading in that direction. While the briskness of the entire endeavor results in some truly mind-numbing mayhem, the pace of the action also translates to a mercifully short running time (107 minutes), which means Peyton and the team of four screenwriters (Ryan Engle, Carlton Cuse, Ryan J. Condal, and Adam Sztykiel) don't really have time to add any excess fat. Even if the characters fail to ever be compelling in any significant way, the filmmakers smartly avoid any futile attempts to develop them further, opting for some silly catchphrases and more monster action. It's totally empty spectacle, but its commitment to being an overblown B-movie is admirable.
You get what you came for. Dwayne Johnson acts cool and tough, the monsters hit each other and topple buildings, and Brad Peyton even delivers a few nicely choreographed setpieces. I laughed at the madness. I enjoyed the consistently campy vibe and the weird strain of violent humor. I cringed at the more egregious lines of dialogue. In the end, I was mostly entertained. It's a serviceable blockbuster, one that seems perfectly content with just getting the job done.
THE FINAL GRADE: B- (6.9/10)
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